There is a very basic courtesy that should apply in all human relations--taking the time to thank people who help us. My friend Mike Somdal is a specialist at this. One reason he is so successful in business is that he has mastered the fine art of making people feel good by thanking them regularly. Often he will call customers simply to thank them again for the order they placed last week or for the recommendation they made to another customer, or for the lunch. Anything. And before the conversation is over, Mike has often secured another order. Of course, if he called simply with ulterior motives, his clients would recognize the manipulation and resist. But Mike has made gratitude a lifelong habit, and those of us who do business with him appreciate that quality. And we respond.
The art of praise--what is known as positive reinforcement in the current psychological jargon--is an essential art for an executive or teacher [or anyone dealing with people] to master. If there is a complaint employees most often express, it is this: "I never get any feedback from the boss--except when something goes wrong." And the teenagers who sit in my office tell me again and again, "My dad gets all over my case when I mess up at school, but when I bring home a good grade he acts as if it's nothing--that I'm finally doing what I should have been doing all along." Stop and think. How long has it been since you took a full 60 seconds to talk to your son or daughter about some fine thing they've just done? Or your secretary, or the managers who work under you?
When someone comes along who genuinely thanks us, we will follow that person a very long way.--Alan Loy McGinnis
